Flocon de Neige

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Patience On The Road 27 December 2008

Filed under: REFLECTIONS — flocon de neige @ 22:55

Today, I realized that it’s pretty hard, even impossible, to make everybody happy at the same time. Let me explain…


J’étais sur l’autoroute 15, direction nord, à environ 5heures le soir… Donc, c’était le total bouchon de circulation! Mais, comme je n’étais pas pressée et que le temps des fêtes me rend généreuse (enfin, en général), je decidai de laisser passer quelques véhicules devant moi, qui attendaient à la bretelle d’entrée d’autoroute, à la hauteur de Laval/autoroute 440. Je pensais faire des heureux, mais je me suis trompée…

Après avoir laissé passer quelques véhicules, j’ai eu un flash. J’ai regardé dans mon rétroviseur pour voir le conducteur du véhicule derrière moi..  Je ne sais plus trop si il était bleu, ou noir, ou rouge de rage, mais il semblait très embêté que je laisse passer des gens devant moi. Bon, peut-être que sa femme était en train d’accoucher, qu’il était en retard pour une réunion importante ou qu’il avait une sacrée envie de pisser, on ne sait jamais, mais je crois que sa réaction était un peu exagérée…


Alors j’ai commencé à me sentir mal de laisser passer d’autres voitures devant moi quand une nouvelle bretelle d’autoroute arrivait. Mais si je ne les laissais pas passer, ce sont ces autres conducteurs qui seraient fâchés contre moi.  C’est à ce moment que je me suis rappelée de mon cours de philo du cegep. Il y avait ce gars dont je ne me souviens plus du nom, qui avait dit qu’on ne pouvit faire plaisire à tout le monde, et qu’il fallait choisir l’action qui provoquait le moins de mal possible (et donc choisir même si on fait du tort à quelqu’un)… le calcul fut compliqué…


Si je laisse passer trois véhicules, et que celui derrière moi en est frustré, je fais plaisir à 3 personnes contre 4..

Supposons que le gars derrière moi soit attendu par 20 personnes, ça fait donc 3 personnes contre 21 (le mec plus les 20 personnes qui l’attendent)

Mais si les trois personnes que je laisse passer devant moi, sont elles aussi attendues par 20 personnes chaque, ça fait 63 contre 21!

Trop compliqué… Le temps que je fasse ce long et pénible calcul, je ne m’étais même pas rendue compte que, tout simplement, le mec derrière moi avait changé de voie et qu’il était rendu à ma gauche, sans rien faire de plus. Alors voilà, tout était reglé et je n’avais même pas eu à prendre de décision!


Supposons maintenant cette autre chose: je ne laisse aucun véhicule passer devant moi, ils se frustrent, ils coupent le véhicule derrière moi qui doit mettre les freins pour les éviter et BANG il se fait rentrer dedans par la voiture derrière lui. Alors là, le bouchon est bon pour rester encore au moins 2 heures. Ou alors, quand le mec derrière moi se fâche parce que je laisse passer les autres, le lui mets les freins en pleine figure, je lui fait un doigt d’honneur et je me met à l’engueuler à travers ma vitre. Il passe dans la voie à ma gauche, il sort de son auto et il me bat à mort (on ne sait jamais!).


Bref, voici ma réflection:

1- tout le monde ne peut être heureux en même temps.

2- c’est souvent en voulant faire plaisir à une personne qu’on en blesse une autre

3. toujours être patient et courtois sur la route, surtout pour le temps des fêtes!!

 

Christmas Sadness 26 December 2008

Filed under: PERSONNAL STUFF — flocon de neige @ 05:54

As Christmas is supposed to be the best time of the year, full of joy and love, you might be surprised I’m writting about Christmas sadness. The thing is, yestrday December 25th, at exactly 12:30 am, my life changed. In the living room, next to the Christmas tree, my parents told me my grand-father was sick.


First of all, I have to say he is the only grandfather I ever knew, as my other one went away from my familly a long time ago.  Every week, since ever, I went to visit him and my grandma or they came to visit us. He is an important part of my life and I really, truly, deeply love him.

This summer, he began to loose his voice to completely loose it around november. When he finaly got to see the doctor, they told him he had a tumor in the throat…

Now, I have some questions about justice in this world… For exemple, from both of my grandfathers, the one who is honnest, fair and generous is sick, and the other one is in perfect shape.


Then I have this other frustration: I’ve got a cousin, older than me, that my grandma raised. I adore my grandma, but it seems to me she’s always taking about him. Whatever I do, he already did, or something similar, bether than me.  I know she loves me and all, and I know he’s almost her own son, and I am not, but even thought, it seems really unfair to me because I see how he really is (not as wonderfull as my grandma would like). Luckily, my granfather, as he always had been fair, talked about me as he talked about my cousin. He recognized my worth as he did with my cousin’s. He was the one who saw the truth. Than, maybe it’s really selfish, but what do I become if he’S sick? What’S left to me?

I feel like I am trying to justify myself all the way. It is really selfish because in all this, I’ve not even talk about what he could feel yet. After all, he’s the one who’s sick and scared. But I can’t stop thinking, what will I become? It seems too unfair to me to be real. In January, we’ll know if an operation or radiotherapy is necessary… Until then, we’re waiting. But I think in both cases, it’s a bad new…

Yesterday I’ve cried all the tears of my poor body, and even today my eyes are full of water just to think about it. I am really scared, because I would like him to be there when I graduate from university, when I get pregnant, I want him to see my children, to see my first house, to be there when I get married. It feels like a part of myself is fading away, because I would like him to be so proud of me, and it is like if I don’t have time to show him who I am.


This year, Christmas is the worst time of the year, because I love a person who’s sick…

Réflection:

1. Il faut dire plus souvent à nos proches que nous les aimons.

2. Ce sont souvent les gens qui le méritent le moins qui souffrent, donc la maladie et le malheur ne sont pas soumis à un principe de  justice.

 

xX ABOUT ME Xx 21 December 2008

Filed under: PERSONNAL STUFF — flocon de neige @ 23:22

Now, we’re getting to a crucial point: WHO AM I?


I’m a 19 years old women, living in Québec, Canada. In my common life, I use french as main language, but I also use English and Spanish, mostly onto the internet. I’m working in a coffee shop, and studying Psychology at University. I was born in the huge city of Montréal, but I’ve always been living in small cities arround with my sister and parents. WHY did I decide to create this blog? Recently, I’ve been experiencing new things and many of my convictions have fell appart. A friend of mine sent me a link to his blog on wordpress and I think making my own blog could be a good way to make the point about what I am living in these days. So, it’s not only a way to share my opinions, it’s also a way to make a huge reflection about my life and choices. As it’s a long process, I hope you won’t be bored about all my posts!

Jessie

 

* SNOWFLAKE * 21 December 2008

Filed under: PERSONNAL STUFF — flocon de neige @ 21:58

So far, I’ve been holding several Blogs but none of them was as important as this one. In fact, this Blog is the most important to me because it’s all about me and my vision of the world. I’m not sure I’ll be able to add new posts every weeks, because of work and school, but it seems very important to me to share my opinions and worries. Unfortunatly, I won’t be able to write every posts in english, neither in spanish, but I’ll try to make it easy and clear for everyone.


nieve

To begin, let’s say there will be 3 big categories in which I’ll try to classify my posts:

1- Opinion, in which I will share with youall the way I see the world and the different events. You will get to know what are my hopes and my worries.

2- Personnal stuff, in which I will talk about myself and stuff I like.

3- Reflection, in which I will ivite you to reconsider stuff and to take a different look over different subjects.


I invite you to share your comments and opinions as often as possible, if you have questions or information, but as respect is very important to me, I will also ask you to do it in the most respectful way you can. I hope you enjoy my *Lil’ piece of Haeven* and wish you the best for 2009!


Jessie